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Unions. Who needs ’em? They’re so passe, so 1930s.

This is the frantic argument being pushed by corporate lobbyists who’re worried by the recent resurgence in union organizing, political punch and public support. Sure, say these corporatists, unions were needed back in the bad ol’ Depression days, when rich executives and investors treated workers with all the respect that a Kleenex gets — use ’em up, toss ’em out.

But, hey, Bucko, that was last century! We’re all in the modern global economy today, where cooperation — not confrontation — is the key. Workers are now called “associates,” and we deal with each of them as individuals in a flexible workforce willing to help top executives cut labor costs. Unions just get in the way of this, don’t you see?

This line of “thinking” was expressed a couple of weeks ago by John Engler, the former Michigan politician who’s now chief lobbyist and noted labor theorist for the National Association of Manufacturers: “In the sophisticated workplaces of the 21st century, you see management and labor often work closely together to beat the competition. When they’re doing that, the need for unions is obviated. And when management and unions are not working together, unions are not likely to succeed and not likely to survive.”

What Professor Engler is telling us is that, ergo, ipso facto and ad absurdum, he’s a gooberhead.

The need for unions is hardly obviated when worker productivity keeps rising, only to be rewarded by declining wages, elimination of health care benefits and cancellation of pensions. Meanwhile, downsizings and offshorings of American jobs are rampant, and part-time work is the new norm.

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THE 8,000-MEMBER GREATER GRACE TEMPLE in Detroit is the home church of many autoworkers, and its Sunday service on December 7 spoke directly to their troubles. The tone was set by the choir’s opening selection, “I’m looking for a Miracle.” The Pentecostal pastor kept the spirit moving with a sermon he titled “A Hybrid Hope,” after which the congregation joined in a full-throated, hallelujah version of the gospel classic, “We’re Gonna Make It.”

For the men and women who actually do the work in automobile manufacturing (America’s quintessential industry), the only hope left for dealing with a catastrophic economic meltdown seems to be prayer. Their corporate leaders have failed them, and Congress has stiffed them. Only last month’s begrudging agreement by the White House to consider a $14 billion bridge loan for the Big Three automakers has given them any optimism as their industry limps into 2009. But the ongoing bailout battle is no longer about economics. It’s about class in America.

Republican lawmakers, backed by a raucous chorus of right-wing pundits and corporate lobbyists, have turned Motor City’s economic woes into an excuse for launching a mendacious and pernicious assault on America’s hard-working, highly skilled, unionized working families–and on the middle-class ideals that they embody.

Read the rest of this issue at The Hightower Lowdown.

As the classic New Year’s song asks, “Should auld acquaintance be forgot?”

Not if our auld acquaintance is the Bush regime. Yes, our country will soon be getting a new beginning, and maybe, just maybe, we can put our country back on the right path. As we head that way, however, we ought not totally put out of mind the dark path we’ve been down the past eight, lest we allow future leaders to take us there again. Let’s long remember our old acquaintances of the Bush years.

Start, of course, with George W — what a guy! Just ask him, he’ll tell you. While he spent seven years and 11 months of his tenure trying to thwart media scrutiny of his life and actions, in this final month he’s suddenly popping up everywhere, eager to reveal the inner George. The essence of his self-assessment as president is that while not everything he pursued worked out perfectly, he should be viewed as a bold, transformative and even profound president. “An old sage,” he called himself during a December Q&A session.

Wow. A sage. What can you add to that? Let’s hope that some loved one thought to buy a tube of Reality Gripper for him as a Christmas gift.

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In keeping with the Biblical adage that it’s better to give than to receive, I came up with a delightful sleighful of holiday goodies this year to dispense to some of our nation’s most special people.

It was not easy to shop for these folks. I mean, what do you get for members of Congress, since they already have pretty much everything? Finally, though, I thought of the perfect one-size-fits-all gift solution for each of our 535 lawmakers. I sent my fondest wish that from now on they receive the exact same level of annual income, health coverage and pension that the typical American gets. No more, no less.

I realize that this will require a bit of downsizing for our legislative stalwarts, since the majority of Americans are paid under $33,000 a year, as opposed to the current congressional salary of $169,300. Also, most people’s health-care plans don’t cover anything that ends in “itus,” and their 401(k)s have dropped in value to approximately 1(k)s.

Still, I’m sure that each member of Congress will find spiritual comfort in knowing that they’re truly “one of the people.” Besides, if they have to live like their constituents, I’ll bet they’ll find a new political passion for policies that raise everyone’s standard of living.

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Let’s say that you’re CEO of a coal corporation, and you want to get at the deposits of black gold deep inside the beautiful, verdant mountains of Appalachia. You have a choice.

You could adopt modern methods that combine industrial ingenuity and environmental finesse to extract the coal. Or, what the hey, why not just ram tons of explosives into the terra firma, blow up the entire top third of those peaks, bulldoze the resulting rubble down the mountainsides into the streams below, then — voila! — simply scoop out the exposed coal? Yes, mountain decapitation is brutish and nasty, but, wow, it’s so much more profitable for your corporation. What’s a CEO to do?

Blowing the tops off mountains might give you pause, but it’s just another day’s work for America’s coal barons, who do not hesitate to grab an extra dime in profit by resorting to what they euphemistically call “mountaintop removal.” These are people who’d bring a sledgehammer to peel a grape.

What they’re sledgehammering in West Virginia, Southern Ohio and Eastern Kentucky is the heart of America’s — and maybe the world’s — oldest mountain range. These ancient ridges and valleys are forested with broadleaf trees, laced with pristine streams and blessed with uncountable species of flowers, fish, woodland animals, birds and other living creatures. It’s an invaluable natural treasure.

To see what the coal giants are doing here is to witness a brutal environmental rape.

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Sen. Bob Corker is … well, a real corker.

The Tennessee Republican is on the Senate banking committee that’s overseeing the bailout of America’s Big Three automakers, and, by gollies, he got his dander up when the three CEOs told the committee last week that they needed a $34 billion loan to survive. No way, popped the corker, unless and until you cut jobs and slash the pay of your union workers. “Before we even contemplate making a loan to these companies,” corker lectured, “we need to put in place specific and rigorous measures.”

Wow, what a tough guy! But why pounce on Detroit, when he and his colleagues so meekly gave up $700 billion of our money to Wall Street hucksters? OK, the numbskull auto bosses goobered by flying to Washington in their separate-but-equal corporate jets, failing to grasp the “optics” (corporate-speak for bad image) of pampered CEOs jetting in for a taxpayer handout.

But, wait — the honchos of Citigroup, AIG, et al. have also been jetting in and out of Washington for their gimmies, yet Corker and Co. raised no hue and cry, nor did they impose any “rigorous measures” as a condition of Wall Streeters getting taxpayer cash. Indeed, the total bailout of the financial barons — counting loans, stock purchases, guarantees and backdoor handouts by the Treasury and Federal Reserve — is nearly $8 trillion. Yes, that’s 8 followed by 12 zeroes! Amazingly, though, the beneficiaries of this phenomenal taxpayer largesse do not have to provide any public benefit in exchange, and Congress isn’t even being told where most of the money has gone.

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Times are hard.

How hard, you ask? Well, you’ll be glad to know that professional economists have now reached a conclusion: America is technically in a recession. Of course, millions of Americans have known this for months, since they’ve lost jobs, businesses, homes — and faith in economists.

While the professors pored over their reams of data, plenty of real-life indicators were shouting that, yes indeedy, the economy sure enough is in a heap of hurt. Start with this indicator: abandoned boats.

Thousands of vessels have been turning up in harbors, on beaches and on other waterfronts around the country — minus any owners. They’ve been ditched. These are not junkers. They are fully functioning pleasure boats that have become money-sucking burdens to would-be mariners who find themselves sinking in today’s economic whirlpool. They are also commercial craft (trawlers, shrimp boats and such) that can no longer earn their keep because of the disastrous decline in America’s fishing market.

Why not just sell them? No market. As one marina owner notes: “You can just forget trying to sell a power boat right now. No one is buying.”

Most boats also have very little scrap value, and it’s expensive to haul them to a proper dump. So many owners are slipping their rigs into a marina or river, removing the ID numbers, maybe even sinking them and scooting away.

For another sign of the times, look to the world of pro sports. Even Tiger Woods just got dumped by Buick, which cancelled a $7.5 million sponsorship deal for 2009. The carmaker, which is in line for a Washington bailout, explained that bailing out on Tiger “sure frees up a lot of money for us.”

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The thing that I’m most thankful for on Turkey Day is not the abundance of food at my family’s table, but the rebels who produced it.

No, not Butterball. And not Wal-Mart, General Foods or any of the other corporate powers that loom large over America’s food economy. To the contrary, I’m thankful for the “good food movement” that has arisen all across our country in rebellion against those powers.

It’s a burgeoning movement of small farmers, consumers, food artisans, local marketers, restaurateurs, community groups and many others (maybe you) who are steadily creating a viable grass-roots alternative to corporatized, industrialized, globalized food. In the process, these folks are sowing the productive ideas of sustainability, organic, local economies and the Common Good, nurturing them as core values for a new food system.

The origins of the movement are in what I call the Upchuck Rebellion — a steadily spreading revulsion during the past 30 years or so at the damage being done to people, to our land and water, and to food itself by the food industry’s singular focus on ever-larger profit for itself. Folks began to say, “There’s got to be a better way,” and then they’d set out to do what they could to create it.

Of course, the Powers That Be snickered and sneered, insisting that the corporate way is the only way, that it’s futile to try defying the established order. But as one of the enterprising pioneers in the organic business puts it, “Those who say it can’t be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.”

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